wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize