yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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