You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
