We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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