scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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