I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
