i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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