he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
false alarm, still single
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize