Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
