In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize