It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize