Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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