Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
