He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
