The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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