something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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