4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
