hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Green mimosas i think yes
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
