just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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