He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize