I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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