dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Randomize
