I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
