i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
