I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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