Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize