So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
