billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
