Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
