Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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