i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
