im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My Sexting was not on an AP level
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
