I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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