she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
