if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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