who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
