oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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