i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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