3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
