their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize