whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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