My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Randomize
