he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I had to cum in my sink.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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