So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
