i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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