whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
