you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
