everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
