im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
