morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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