Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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