Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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