New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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