You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize