Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
