Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
